Oh man! I am at work reading about dinosaurs and I came across a page written by creationists trying to fit fossil evidence with the Bible. I was teetering between hilarity and terror/sadness that people could be this poorly educated, but luckily hilarity won out. The page is http://www.answersingenesis.org/docs/2.asp and is part of a site which gives you 'scientific' answers that fit with the Bible instead of actual science. Here are some gems:
'The truth of the matter, however, is that there are no real mysteries at all, once you have key information that is not generally known and is withheld from the public.'
Man, that's scientists for you! Always trying to keep information from the public. That's how you get the biggest grants, you know.
'According to evolutionists, the dinosaurs ‘ruled the Earth’ for 140 million years, dying out about 65 million years ago. However, scientists do not dig up anything labeled with those ages. They only uncover dead dinosaurs (i.e., their bones), and their bones do not have labels attached telling how old they are. The idea of millions of years of evolution is just the evolutionists’ story about the past. No scientist was there to see the dinosaurs live through this supposed dinosaur age. In fact, there is no proof whatsoever that the world and its fossil layers are millions of years old. No scientist observed dinosaurs die. Scientists only find the bones in the here and now, and because many of them are evolutionists, they try to fit the story of the dinosaurs into their view.'
Man, what kind of person would ignore the evidence and try to fit things into their world-view? That's disgraceful.
'As you add up all of the dates, and accepting that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, came to Earth almost 2000 years ago, we come to the conclusion that the creation of the Earth and animals (including the dinosaurs) occurred only thousands of years ago (perhaps only 6000!), not millions of years. Thus, if the Bible is right (and it is!), dinosaurs must have lived within the past thousands of years.'
This makes perfect sense.
'God sent two of every (seven of some) land animal into the Ark (Genesis 7:2-3; 7:8-9)—there were no exceptions. Therefore, dinosaurs must have been on the Ark. Even though there was ample room in the huge ship for large animals, perhaps God sent young adults into the Ark that still had plenty of room for them to grow.'
AWESOME. I love this! The Old Testament is so much more fun if you imagine all these grump old Jewish men riding around on dinosaurs.
'If the different kinds of dinosaurs survived the Flood, then they must have come off the Ark and lived in the post-Flood world.'
This is pretty good news. But it gets better...
'Will We Ever See a Live Dinosaur?
The answer is probably not … but, then again? There are some scientists who believe a few dinosaurs may have survived in remote jungles. We are still discovering new species of animals and plants today in areas that have been too difficult to explore until now. Even natives in some countries describe beasts that fit with what might be a dinosaur.
Creationists, of course, would not be surprised if someone found a living dinosaur.'Whenever you get down... whenever it just seems like too much... remember, 'scientists' believe there may still be dinosaurs living on the earth.
Of course, they do have pretty good evidence that dinosaurs were around recently:
'Interestingly, the word ‘dragon’ is used a number of times in the Old Testament. In most instances, the word dinosaur could substitute for dragon and it would fit very nicely. Creation scientists believe that dinosaurs were called dragons before the word dinosaur was invented in the 1800s. We would not expect to find the word dinosaur in Bibles like the Authorized Version (1611), as it was translated well before the word dinosaur was ever used.
Also, there are many very old history books in various libraries around the world that have detailed records of dragons and their encounters with people. Surprisingly (or not so surprisingly for creationists), many of these descriptions of dragons fit with how modern scientists would describe dinosaurs, even Tyrannosaurus. Unfortunately, this evidence is not considered valid by evolutionists. Why? Only because their belief is that man and dinosaurs did not live at the same time!
However, the more we research the historical literature, the more we realize there is overwhelming evidence that dragons were real beasts, much like our modern reconstructions of dinosaurs, and that their existence has been recorded by many different people, even just hundreds of years ago.'Can you believe that actual scientists (ie people with degrees from proper universities) just TOTALLY IGNORE the evidence of dragon stories? That is so unscientific! Next you'll be telling me they don't believe in elves. WELL WHO DO YOU THINK MADE THOSE FANCY SHOES YOU'RE WEARING, MR SCIENTIST?!?!?
My next project is finding a very rich fundamentalist Christian to fund my expedition into the jungles of the Amazon, looking for dinosaurs.
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