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Subject:HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Time:11:59 am
Oh man! I am at work reading about dinosaurs and I came across a page written by creationists trying to fit fossil evidence with the Bible. I was teetering between hilarity and terror/sadness that people could be this poorly educated, but luckily hilarity won out. The page is http://www.answersingenesis.org/docs/2.asp and is part of a site which gives you 'scientific' answers that fit with the Bible instead of actual science. Here are some gems:

'The truth of the matter, however, is that there are no real mysteries at all, once you have key information that is not generally known and is withheld from the public.'

Man, that's scientists for you! Always trying to keep information from the public. That's how you get the biggest grants, you know.

'According to evolutionists, the dinosaurs ‘ruled the Earth’ for 140 million years, dying out about 65 million years ago. However, scientists do not dig up anything labeled with those ages. They only uncover dead dinosaurs (i.e., their bones), and their bones do not have labels attached telling how old they are. The idea of millions of years of evolution is just the evolutionists’ story about the past. No scientist was there to see the dinosaurs live through this supposed dinosaur age. In fact, there is no proof whatsoever that the world and its fossil layers are millions of years old. No scientist observed dinosaurs die. Scientists only find the bones in the here and now, and because many of them are evolutionists, they try to fit the story of the dinosaurs into their view.'


Man, what kind of person would ignore the evidence and try to fit things into their world-view? That's disgraceful.

'As you add up all of the dates, and accepting that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, came to Earth almost 2000 years ago, we come to the conclusion that the creation of the Earth and animals (including the dinosaurs) occurred only thousands of years ago (perhaps only 6000!), not millions of years. Thus, if the Bible is right (and it is!), dinosaurs must have lived within the past thousands of years.'

This makes perfect sense.

'God sent two of every (seven of some) land animal into the Ark (Genesis 7:2-3; 7:8-9)—there were no exceptions. Therefore, dinosaurs must have been on the Ark. Even though there was ample room in the huge ship for large animals, perhaps God sent young adults into the Ark that still had plenty of room for them to grow.'


AWESOME. I love this! The Old Testament is so much more fun if you imagine all these grump old Jewish men riding around on dinosaurs.

'If the different kinds of dinosaurs survived the Flood, then they must have come off the Ark and lived in the post-Flood world.'


This is pretty good news. But it gets better...

'Will We Ever See a Live Dinosaur?

The answer is probably not … but, then again? There are some scientists who believe a few dinosaurs may have survived in remote jungles. We are still discovering new species of animals and plants today in areas that have been too difficult to explore until now. Even natives in some countries describe beasts that fit with what might be a dinosaur.

Creationists, of course, would not be surprised if someone found a living dinosaur.'

Whenever you get down... whenever it just seems like too much... remember, 'scientists' believe there may still be dinosaurs living on the earth.

Of course, they do have pretty good evidence that dinosaurs were around recently:

'Interestingly, the word ‘dragon’ is used a number of times in the Old Testament. In most instances, the word dinosaur could substitute for dragon and it would fit very nicely. Creation scientists believe that dinosaurs were called dragons before the word dinosaur was invented in the 1800s. We would not expect to find the word dinosaur in Bibles like the Authorized Version (1611), as it was translated well before the word dinosaur was ever used.

Also, there are many very old history books in various libraries around the world that have detailed records of dragons and their encounters with people. Surprisingly (or not so surprisingly for creationists), many of these descriptions of dragons fit with how modern scientists would describe dinosaurs, even Tyrannosaurus. Unfortunately, this evidence is not considered valid by evolutionists. Why? Only because their belief is that man and dinosaurs did not live at the same time!

However, the more we research the historical literature, the more we realize there is overwhelming evidence that dragons were real beasts, much like our modern reconstructions of dinosaurs, and that their existence has been recorded by many different people, even just hundreds of years ago.'

Can you believe that actual scientists (ie people with degrees from proper universities) just TOTALLY IGNORE the evidence of dragon stories? That is so unscientific! Next you'll be telling me they don't believe in elves. WELL WHO DO YOU THINK MADE THOSE FANCY SHOES YOU'RE WEARING, MR SCIENTIST?!?!?

My next project is finding a very rich fundamentalist Christian to fund my expedition into the jungles of the Amazon, looking for dinosaurs.

 

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tedprior
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 03:27 am (UTC)
Dragons are real, my brother saw one one time!
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tiny_monster
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 05:03 am (UTC)
Ben is the best scientist.
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alleycatsphinx
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 03:32 am (UTC)
I want a T-Shirt that just says "SCIENTIST"
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tiny_monster
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 05:03 am (UTC)
I think you just need to make a donation to the church ;)
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holy_ship
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 03:59 am (UTC)
Man it really boils my potatoes when those scientists ignore historical texts. What are they trying to prove??
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tiny_monster
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 05:03 am (UTC)
They have a lot of preconceived ideas.
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dryponder
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 04:02 am (UTC)
i used to believe in this kind of thing. :(
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tiny_monster
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 05:06 am (UTC)
To be honest Dean your example is one of the few things that stop me from getting very intolerant of Christians as a whole (as if there is such a thing). You are a critical thinker and someone who really examines social inequality and power. It's very difficult to change your mindset like that and I have always been very impressed by you.
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(Deleted comment)

tiny_monster
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 05:06 am (UTC)
The more I think about this the more I like it. Maybe this will be Mungo Bean's next project?
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(Deleted comment)

travisezell
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 04:41 am (UTC)
perhaps God sent young adults into the Ark that still had plenty of room for them to grow.'

AWESOME. I love this! The Old Testament is so much more fun if you imagine all these grump old Jewish men riding around on dinosaurs.


Yeah, but you forgot to mention: BABY DINOSAURS!
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tiny_monster
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 05:07 am (UTC)
:o

Oh sweet Jeebus on a dinosaur, YOU'RE RIGHT.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


skertrevir
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 05:19 am (UTC)
Paleontologists don't find bones, they find fossils because they're millions of years old and ROCK.
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tiny_monster
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 06:04 am (UTC)
They do rock, don't they? (Shoots self in head)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


sarahcoldheart
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 05:32 am (UTC)
AWESOME. I love this! The Old Testament is so much more fun if you imagine all these grump old Jewish men riding around on dinosaurs.

I love this part, it made me lol. Riding around on dinosaaaaurs!
(Reply) (Thread)


tiny_monster
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 06:05 am (UTC)
Even better: the dinosaurs have matching beards.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


mr_esty
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 05:59 am (UTC)
Creationists blow my mind.
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tiny_monster
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 06:06 am (UTC)
Tell me about it! We don't have many over here, and most Australians would think that anyone who believed this stuff was either certifiable or intellectually sub-normal. It freaks me out that some people in the US take this seriously!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


bunnybraineater
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 06:11 am (UTC)
this made me lol so hard.

unfortunately i grew up in the deep south of the u.s. so none of this is really surprising to me. D:
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tiny_monster
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 06:41 am (UTC)
That sounds like it would be pretty scary!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

(Deleted comment)

tiny_monster
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 06:42 am (UTC)
That is my absolute favourite. "Well you see Billy, God is kind of a jerk, and He likes to try and trick people, and then punish them when they fall for His tricks."
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fallingforward
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 06:25 am (UTC)
Yes, how can scientists leave out these incontrovertible facts:
"...accepting that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, came to Earth almost 2000 years ago..."
and
"...if the Bible is right (and it is!)..."

Well, that pretty much covers it.

Oh, except for those pesky stars... These bothersome scientists and their insistence that if we're wrong about things like the speed (and constancy) of light and our understanding of radioactive decay a lot of our science, and therefore science-based gadgets, will cease to work. I suppose God must have bellowed "let their be light! and.. let some of it appear to be billions of years old and some of it not... cuz I like a good joke..." Why, Aunt Suzie wouldn't be able to have that MRI, we'd have to un-plug our microwave oven and turn off our cell phones and...

I had a link to a great page on why the earth must be older than 6,000 years... I need to dig that up. When these people say there's an assault on them... I can only say "yes, yes there is". We must vigorously confront anyone who wants us to move backwards into ignorance and superstition. (when I learned that you and Grug and Jess and Eric were rational thinkers and skeptics, it made me so happy! hehe)
(Reply) (Thread)


tiny_monster
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 06:45 am (UTC)
I have been getting really interested in science vs psuedo-science and the question of what I really believe. Listening the the Skeptics' Guide podcast has helped. Also I have been reading the most awesome book, it's called 'Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife' by Mary Roach, and it's both informative and hilarious. I feel like it's really important to apply critical thinking to everything, not just culture and politics (as I have been trained to do) but my beliefs and knowledge base.

It makes me happy to know that there are cool people like yourself out there fighting the good fight!
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slackmaticnews
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 06:50 am (UTC)
It's a little known fact but Moses had a pet pterodactyl.
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holterya
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 07:01 am (UTC)
And when Jesus walked on water, he was actually standing on the back of an plesiosaur.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


practice_cactus
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 07:44 am (UTC)
This kid will frustrate you no end. Smarmy, cocky twit.
http://www.youtube.com/user/VenomFangX
Don't bother commenting on his vids cause he approves anything, thus not allowing any intelligent discussion on both sides of the matter.
(Reply) (Thread)


tanukitsune
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 09:36 am (UTC)
Creationists make me wish I was an atheist...

Didn't some creationist say that God put dinosaur to test their faith in him? ¬_¬
(Reply) (Thread)


talcotts
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 10:20 am (UTC)
I tend to be far too amused by this kind of stuff.

Which is why I can't wait until I have a chance to visit the Creation Museum. It's only an hour away.

Also, have you seen this?
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warpwind
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 11:44 am (UTC)
You have no idea how much these guys and their flood geology annoy me.
(Reply) (Thread)


arboretum_ind
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 01:33 pm (UTC)
Looking at that article and the way it just slaps creationists in the face repeatedly...
Imagine if they got onto wikipedia. I could.... never go to that site again. It would become a disinformation hub.
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(Deleted comment)

arboretum_ind
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 01:29 pm (UTC)
second
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arboretum_ind
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 01:28 pm (UTC)
Interestingly, the word ‘Creationist’ is used a number of times in this article. In most instances, the word idiot or blindy could substitute for Creationist and it would fit very nicely!

It scares the hell out of me that people that call themselves scientists can... actually be like that in real life. And, you know, just ignore Everything except what they've been told.
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mr_sadhead
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 02:00 pm (UTC)
This would be a good reason for you and Grug to come to Seattle to visit! We have an enclave of creationism right here in the city, the national headquarters of the Discovery Institute, a thinktank funded by rich Creationists that doles out huge financial grants to scientists who will turn their backs on the facts and say that the earth was built in less time than you'd put up a shed in your back yard. Put together a grant proposal and fly over, and we'll get dinner at the Teapot while you're here. (Ask for a lot of money, that's how they know you're serious.)
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finkenstein
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 04:06 pm (UTC)
Have you ever heard of Kent Hovine? I'm sure he'd back your expedition if he had any money left! He's a friggin lunatic creationist who used to teach SCIENCE CLASSES down south. He owned a DINOSAUR PARK where he would give tours about how dinosaurs are still alive. He was recently sent to jail though becuase him and his family were living in a huge house withoug paying income tax because they believed GOD OWNS EVERYTHING and therefore they don't have to pay the government.
You should check out Richard Dawkins' tv specials for the BBC they are amazing. Specifically the God Delusion, he has a book by the same name maybe you've seen it? Anyway, these people are insane. I've never actually come into contact with anyone this crazy, but there are a lot of devout christians around. Eric had a roomate in college who told him he was sad because he knew eric was going to hell. Heh.
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finkenstein
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 04:08 pm (UTC)
p.s. and that was art college!
I am always wondering what it is like in other countries, I've been to a lot of weddings this year and found out to my surprise how religious a lot of my friends actually are, it is bizarre.
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fuzzylobsters
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 04:41 pm (UTC)
Question (almost) everything...

Have you ever heard of a book called Quantum Psychology? By Robert Anton Wilson, I highly reccommend it -

One of the ideas in there that interests me most is the notion of E-prime - using the English language _without_ the word "is". If you try it, you will very likely find it a) difficult and b) having a tendency to expose every underlying assumption.
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abrassea
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 07:24 pm (UTC)
i heard about a site like this recently that's most likely parody so i was expecting that to be the site you were talking about at first, but sadly, i'm completely sure this site is real. i have always liked the idea of dragons being real though. the strongest evidence i've heard for this (which obviously isn't in any way scientific proof) is that so many different cultures all over the world have dragons in their mythology, that it's likely that they're actually based on some actual creature. like i said, it's not science, but it's fun to think about.
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crapjournal
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 07:33 pm (UTC)
Are you sure you're not just begging the question? I realise that this isn't a philosophy essay but the level of dialogue here is really kind of appalling. Not only do you not offer any reason not to believe the creationists (beyond your own assumptions and beliefs), but the way in which you ridicule them is, I think, a little bit embarrassing?

I'm no creationist, but I'm a little tired of seeing religious people strung up like this just for believing different things. Does it really make a difference to you what someone else believes? If it does, why? Is it necessary for every single human being to believe in the same thing? Why do you believe in what you believe? What makes your beliefs right and theirs wrong, again?

I don't like the language they use (for instance, I think the use of the word "evolutionist" is probably misleading), but that doesn't mean that your ridicule of them is any better. It's the exact same thing, except maybe worse, because you're targeting them. You can't actually be religious in Western Society today because if your beliefs are significantly different from the mainstream you are singled out and made fun of. Isn't that the exact opposite of the principles most democracies are founded on?

I don't know. It just bugs me seeing this. Even the way you responded to dryponder up there--- how is that any different from saying to your one black friend that "he's cool", while implying that everyone else in his race isn't? I don't see how entries like this promote anything beyond misunderstanding and prejudice.
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100kilopascals
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-01 08:21 pm (UTC)
man this is her journal. she is not posting it to give you personal satisfaction or both sides of the matter and frankly, the statement that the world was created six thousand years ago is so embarrassing that it overrules anything you are even talking about. how about the little problem of belief, which is emotion, and truth, which, uh, is not?
i am personally a huge fan of fact and i'm afraid creationism just does not grasp the difference between believing something that isn't true and proving a thing that is.
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mr_lambi
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-11-02 03:43 am (UTC)
I do hope you make an awesome comic about hunting for the last remaining dinosaurs.
(Reply) (Thread)

[icon] HAHAHAHAHAHAHA - this is tiny monster
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